high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
