I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
