One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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