in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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