I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
