yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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