I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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