awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
