I molested 6 butterflies tonight
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
