Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
