I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
