There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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