stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
