i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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