And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
