we have officially lost it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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