so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
