I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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