I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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