For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
