You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
