just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
