Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.