Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
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So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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