Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0