hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
