so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.