Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.