I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
