i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
