I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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