Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
