Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
