I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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