You're so nebulous sometimes
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
