Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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