so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
