He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
