I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
