Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
