oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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