Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
