You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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