Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There r osticjed everywhere
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
