there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
