I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize