She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
