i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
