Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
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My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
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i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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