Your face is a jimmy john
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
