hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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