dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
