Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
