She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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