Sry I called you an 8
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's never too late to be topless.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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