dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
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thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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