yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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