I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
