Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
