Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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