remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize