I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
