My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
