Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
