My first STD was from a foam party
I wish I only lived at night.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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