i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
