Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
