have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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