Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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