There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
