Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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