And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize